The Christian faithful can look at this picture and immediately understand its significance. We often have to let go of something we think that we love, or perhaps that we even truly deeply love, in order to make room for the greater thing God has for us.
The child is being asked to let go of something she loves. The Lord often asks us to lose or let go of something, or even someone we care about immensely. We are asked daily to die to ourselves; our own will, our earthly desires and to our sin (Galatians 5:24, 1 Peter 2:24, Romans 6:6). Why?
To make room for God's will, which is perfect and infinitely greater than our own; better for ourselves and for everyone else. To allow space for His joy, His mercy, His peace, and His love; all infinitely greater than our ability to have, to do, or to experience such goodness on our own. Jesus always has something greater for us. However, we must be willing to make room for whatever it might be. This process can be difficult, uncomfortable, and even painful.
He removes every branch
that does not bear fruit,
and every branch that does
he prunes to make it bear even more.
John 15:2
Sometimes Jesus might be asking us to surrender ugly things like our pain, our anger, our unforgiveness, or our sin. Offering up our pain, though beautiful, can certainly have its challenges. But as we approach the season of Lent I would also like to explore the type of surrender more along the lines of the above image; when Jesus asks us to hand over something pretty or comfortable to make room for something even more lovely. This too can break our hearts before we see the bigger picture. But when we walk with Christ in faith we can trust Him through this pain of letting go of the pretty and the comfortable, knowing that He prunes us and prepares us for sainthood and the ultimate gift of Heaven.
Shifting Begins
I remember the morning so clearly. singing at church, praising wholeheartedly, to a song we sang often. The lyrics say:
"Shake up the ground of all my tradition
Break down the walls of all my religion
Your way is better"
Now religion is not bad and neither is tradition- I think the key word here is "my"....
"My religion"
"My tradition"
Following Christ isn't supposed to be about what we want to be true but about what is actually true and it's not about what we want to do but about what God wants us to do. And everything he wants for us is ultimately good and for the good of our relationship with Him which is the best thing for us!
In that moment I knew God was about to shake me up. I didn't know exactly what this meant or what to expect but I remember feeling excited. I couldn't wait to see what God was doing - until He did it. Or at least until it was revealed to me.
What walls did I even have that needed breaking down? Had I not already fully surrendered to Christ?
Apparently not.
In the following weeks I noticed something off about my husband. I asked him if he was ok, thinking maybe something was going on at work. He told me he had been studying something that he would like to talk about, but we needed uninterrupted time to do so. Fair enough.
"It's just….so much babe." He said in a way that made me feel uneasy. He sounded simultaneously excited and reluctant to talk about the matter. I prayed over it and didn't think much about it until we had a moment to sit down together.
I knew we were going to talk theology, probably our favorite subject to discuss together (yes we are nerds) but I wondered what on earth he had uncovered.
And then he laid it all out. Years of studying that he didn't realize was leading to this conclusion until challenged by a debate. I was already familiar with much of it but had never connected the dots.
Here it was - his case for Catholicism.
Disclaimer
Now I want to pause for a moment because this blog is not meant to be theological, though theology will naturally impact my writing so I want to be open and honest about where I am coming from.
This blog is dedicated to those in need of healing regardless of denomination or religion. Anyone seeking God in their pain is welcome here. I pray it leads all who are seeking in their valley to Christ.
I pray the posts I publish bring healing to the readers regardless of where you stand with the Lord right now, because He is always calling you deeper, always wanting to heal our broken hearts, always waiting for us to come home.
Whether or not you are ready for a relationship with Christ or a deeper relationship with Him, I cannot know, but because you are here I do believe you yearn for healing. Or perhaps you are reading these posts in order to help someone else. Either way you do need not to be Catholic or agree with me on everything for this blog to benefit you.
A New Direction for Our Family
'Is he nuts?' I thought - 'he has really lost it! Lord what do I do?'
Listen.
Only by the Holy Spirit was I able to listen.
I had so many preconceived and erroneous ideas about Catholicism that I was convinced were true. Things I heard and did not bother to investigate.
I was hurt and I was mad. I was mad that the man was making sense! What was wrong with him? I knew if the things he was saying were true, this indeed meant we would have to leave the church family I was so deeply in love with.
But Holy Spirit asked me a question, not in an accusing way but in a way that really made me think. "Are you going for them, or are you going for me?"
I pondered this.
I was indeed going for Him. But if I was going to continue to go for Him I needed to be obedient to wherever He would lead us.
Fellowship is wonderful and a necessary part of the Christian Walk (1 Thess 5:11, Hebrews 10:25, 1 John 1:3, Prov 27:17, 1 Cor 12:12). But like anything, we must participate in it in accordance with God’s will. Socializing can become an idol like any activity we value, but fellowship is more than just a Christian social club. Fellowship involves doing life with other believers in way that encourages and enhances our relationship with Christ and pursuit of holiness.
That being said, I recognized that these relationships were fruitful and beautiful, but that they needed to occur within God’s will. All relationships evolve and change, and though I was scared of what that might look like if we left our church, I knew I needed to trust God.
As we continued in our research, domino after domino fell one after another, in the months ahead as we studied it out together. Questions arose faster than I could think. Each time a piece of me hoped that somehow I had debunked some part of Catholicism this time - because then we could stay put.
What about the Pope? What about the “bad” Popes!
What about confession? Infant baptism? Eucharist? The Reformation? The weird Mary stuff? (The weird Mary stuff turned out not to be so strange after all!)
As we studied these things out, it was all lining up- or was I crazy?
"Lord don't let us be deceived!" Was my prayer, and my husband's, day and night. I would wake in the middle of the night with this plea on my lips.
In the New Testament we hear of stories like Jesus healing the blindman in John 9; where the spiritual blindness of the Pharisees is highlighted. I believe this is emphasized not so we can point our fingers at them but so we can identify the planks in our own eyes(Matthew 7:3-4) that we might be healed of our own spiritual blindness and set free in our whole hearted worship of Christ.
We continued to study and pray. The ground was shaking, and the walls were coming down.
The love of Christ filled me and my love for Him consumed me. This is what had been missing.
We read through scripture passage after passage and we began studying the Catechism of the Catholic Church (which is essentially a study tool used to disciple), listening to protestant apologists, listening to Catholic apologists. We sifted through various writings of the early church fathers. We wrestled with each and every concern - I couldn't believe all the misconceptions I had accumulated over the years.
We talked it over with loved ones, some Catholic some protestant, because as advised in Proverbs 11:14:
Safety is assured with a multitude of advisors.
We talked it over with my protestant mom. Were we headed down the wrong path? Well, she didn't think so… little did I know she had been considering attending Mass as she felt led after praying to be more like Christ! She also has decided to join the Catholic Church!
Unknowingly, her prayer had been the same as ours- that God would prepare our hearts for something more; something deeper; to be more like Jesus.
None of us expected that God would respond through Catholicism! Yet, He did, and He has continued aligning our hearts with His will and with each other. I praise God for genuine unity in our home!
I couldn't believe how much sense the case for Catholicism was making!
The more I tried to disprove it the more I couldn’t. One layer at a time, so very carefully, the Lord softened each hardened layer of my heart. He called me deeper into His truth and deeper into his love. My heart was turning from anger to a fullness of joy. How beautiful and marvelous and wonderful is our God!
Again, this post is not about convincing anyone to join the Catholic Church (though I would be happy to help you in finding any answers about it) but it is my story of surrender; handing over my pretty flower, in exchange for a beautiful bouquet I did not know existed.
You Don’t Have to Trade One Family for Another
We realized our questions would never end because it is impossible to know everything about God but at this point we agreed we had more than enough information and we are responsible for what we know. It was time to take a step of faith and move toward transitioning to a local Catholic parish.
I didn't want to believe it at first, but we prayed over and over that God would put us in agreement with each other and with His will. We knew we needed Holy Spirit to guide us in moving forward with something that could affect our family for generations to come.
Part of me was so excited about this new and deeper part of our journey with Christ while the other part of me felt fearful and sad- maybe not so different from how the little girl being asked to release her flower might feel.
I hadn't expressed in words or even in coherent thought how this process was deeply hurting me. But pruning does hurt- I was already familiar with this. One day I just sat at the edge of our bed and cried alone. Being alone especially long enough to cry privately, is a rare occurrence at our house. (I usually just have to cry in front of whoever- these can be great teaching moments though!)
But God provided me a needed moment of solitude to mourn what I thought I was losing.
Then Holy Spirit spoke to me so sweetly. "You don't have to trade one family for another."
This whole time I had been clutching on to my little flower while behind his back, Jesus held a much larger and even more beautiful bouquet that it could be a part of. He was just waiting to reveal it to me until I was ready to let go of what I thought should be.
I didn't know what it would look like but I knew it would be good.
So far it has looked like support from almost all of our loved ones, in transitioning to the Catholic Church. I have heard from others that is incredibly rare. Unfortunately, but understandably, due to the common misconceptions, this does not seem to be the case for many converting or being confirmed into the Catholic Church. We are truly blessed!
But even when we as Christians; especially Catholic Christians so often misunderstood, are not shown such support, we are still called to obedience. And God will always supply us with the grace we need to follow Him.
This season also looks like effort in building new relationships while maintaining old ones.
It looks like weddings, baby showers, birthdays, playdates, and cookouts with people we have known for a long time and with others we are just getting to know.
It looks like praying together and Bible studies.
It looks like sweet new devotional practices.
It looks like a whole lot of learning, unlearning, and relearning.
It looks like "I miss you texts" and a date on the calendar to get together.
This year it looked like multiple Christmas services.
It looks like continuing to share in life with those we have loved for a long time, while being welcomed so warmly and graciously by those we are just getting to know.
It still looks like fellowship- like relationships with Jesus at the center.
It looks like an even bigger family of believers for us to love and serve and to be served by.
It looks like a rich faith and deeper love of and commitment to Jesus.
It looks like surrendering my pretty little flower to receive and embrace a larger and even more beautiful bouquet.
Challenge
So as we approach this season of Lent in preparation for Easter; what is God asking you to release? Whether protestant or Catholic, what is He asking you to make room for? Of what blind spot does He want to heaI you? I encourage you to pray about this and meditate on it while remembering that God may not reveal what He wants you to make room for, until in faith, you are ready to let go of your little flower first.
I pray for your strength and courage in surrendering all to our Lord Jesus. Peace be with you my brothers and sisters in Christ!